Ask Lola Archive!
(Only those who answered 'YES' in the third section are published here. For confidentiality purposes, we changed the real names and left out the email addresses.) These answers may be shorter than the actual email sent!
No Messages for Weeks?
Beth
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hello po im beth ...
i have a boyfriend who's younger than me.
before nung hindi pa kami he always have time to call me or send me a msg every day and almost every hour... pero after ng 2years aniv. nmin parang nag bago na cia he dont usually do the things na ginagawa nia...like calling and texting ...but every time nman na magkikita kmi he is still sweet and thoughtful
pero bakit po ganun parang my mali?...cause every time na his not wid me parang i dont have a boy friend kasi nga he cant even remember txting me or calling me for weeks... nasakin lang po pa ung problema o tlgang dapat na qng maghinala?
Ask Lola says:
This can be interpreted in two ways: positive OR negative.
The positive version is, you guys have been together for two years that the stage of what you call "honeymoon stage" (the stage wherein you both are very sweet to each other because everything seems new and whatnot) is already over. It's like talking, texting and calling is a regular thing that it's not necessarily THAT exciting as it was during the honeymoon stage. It's not necessarily a bad thing in a sense, because it happens to couples that have been together for a long time.
Here's where the negative part comes in: he doesnt text or call for WEEKS.
Now I see that calling or texting is not something what you call "new" but WEEKS is pushing it to the limit. If he cares for you enough, a call once per day (doesn't have to be a text per second) would have been okay.
If you're concerned enough that it bothers you, get off the computer right now, pick up the phone... or meet him, and then TALK TO HIM. Nothing is resolved if you sit there and wait 'til youre hurting! GOOD LUCK and I wish you well!
Message
hello po im beth ...
i have a boyfriend who's younger than me.
before nung hindi pa kami he always have time to call me or send me a msg every day and almost every hour... pero after ng 2years aniv. nmin parang nag bago na cia he dont usually do the things na ginagawa nia...like calling and texting ...but every time nman na magkikita kmi he is still sweet and thoughtful
pero bakit po ganun parang my mali?...cause every time na his not wid me parang i dont have a boy friend kasi nga he cant even remember txting me or calling me for weeks... nasakin lang po pa ung problema o tlgang dapat na qng maghinala?
Ask Lola says:
This can be interpreted in two ways: positive OR negative.
The positive version is, you guys have been together for two years that the stage of what you call "honeymoon stage" (the stage wherein you both are very sweet to each other because everything seems new and whatnot) is already over. It's like talking, texting and calling is a regular thing that it's not necessarily THAT exciting as it was during the honeymoon stage. It's not necessarily a bad thing in a sense, because it happens to couples that have been together for a long time.
Here's where the negative part comes in: he doesnt text or call for WEEKS.
Now I see that calling or texting is not something what you call "new" but WEEKS is pushing it to the limit. If he cares for you enough, a call once per day (doesn't have to be a text per second) would have been okay.
If you're concerned enough that it bothers you, get off the computer right now, pick up the phone... or meet him, and then TALK TO HIM. Nothing is resolved if you sit there and wait 'til youre hurting! GOOD LUCK and I wish you well!
The One I love Or the One Who Loves me?
ex? mahal?
Message
hmmmn. may mahal aq kaso ung mahal q my mahal ng iba.my nagmmhal skin d q nmn mahal, wat should i do? si ex? o c mahl?
Ask Lola says:
As far as I know, a relationship can only work because both parties have mutual feelings for each other. Sadly the person you love, loves someone else so that's a little dead end don't you think? The person who loves you will not really make you happy right? It's like picking someone out of pity.
In a nutshell, if you don't have the "mutual feelings" done, it's a good rule of thumb not to pick anyone because you don't want to render ANYONE unhappy, including yourself. Wait it out, open your heart for someone else, then until then.. maybe you can pick :)
Message
hmmmn. may mahal aq kaso ung mahal q my mahal ng iba.my nagmmhal skin d q nmn mahal, wat should i do? si ex? o c mahl?
Ask Lola says:
As far as I know, a relationship can only work because both parties have mutual feelings for each other. Sadly the person you love, loves someone else so that's a little dead end don't you think? The person who loves you will not really make you happy right? It's like picking someone out of pity.
In a nutshell, if you don't have the "mutual feelings" done, it's a good rule of thumb not to pick anyone because you don't want to render ANYONE unhappy, including yourself. Wait it out, open your heart for someone else, then until then.. maybe you can pick :)
(Ex) Boyfriend Excuses
K.S.
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My boyfriend and I broke up, just a month ago. He said, it's the best for us. He has lots of reasons to get rid of me, like, I don't give him the time he wants, I am not always on the go for dates (but we do go out on dates), that I get mad easily, and stuffs. I didn't argue on any about that, I asked him if those were really the reasons, he said YES. I asked if break up is what he REALLY wants. He said YES. I said, FINE. We broke up. He sent me home and waved goodbye. That was the last time we talked. Then the next day, he is dating someone else. They are now officially dating, I guess. But that's not the problem. Yesterday, he passed by me, and his eyes were locked on mine, as if he wanted to speak. I don't know, but I get those butterflies again. That feeling that you get when you want to push on something, like I want him baaack. I don't know what to doooo. Help? :)
Ask Lola says:
If he cared for you enough, he would have told you these problems along the way so you could have worked it out then. The thing is, he didn't. He waited 'til it supposedly piled up until the breakup.
Bottomline is, he has a girlfriend now and you're single. No need to hold on. You don't want to be the second one when you can be the first. Odds are, he'll hurt you again and it'll be worse this time.
Message
My boyfriend and I broke up, just a month ago. He said, it's the best for us. He has lots of reasons to get rid of me, like, I don't give him the time he wants, I am not always on the go for dates (but we do go out on dates), that I get mad easily, and stuffs. I didn't argue on any about that, I asked him if those were really the reasons, he said YES. I asked if break up is what he REALLY wants. He said YES. I said, FINE. We broke up. He sent me home and waved goodbye. That was the last time we talked. Then the next day, he is dating someone else. They are now officially dating, I guess. But that's not the problem. Yesterday, he passed by me, and his eyes were locked on mine, as if he wanted to speak. I don't know, but I get those butterflies again. That feeling that you get when you want to push on something, like I want him baaack. I don't know what to doooo. Help? :)
Ask Lola says:
If he cared for you enough, he would have told you these problems along the way so you could have worked it out then. The thing is, he didn't. He waited 'til it supposedly piled up until the breakup.
Bottomline is, he has a girlfriend now and you're single. No need to hold on. You don't want to be the second one when you can be the first. Odds are, he'll hurt you again and it'll be worse this time.
Give way?
G.F.
Message
anu po ang gagawin ko if may gusto ako sa isang tao pero ayaw sa akin..tapos ang gusto nung taong yun eh bestfriend ko pa..??magpaparaya na lang po ba ako?? :( help naman oh..
Ask Lola says:
If that guy is not interested with you, then he is not. You're better off with someone who will like you for you :) It's not like you can ask him to like you instead of your bestfriend. There are a lot of fish in the ocean, and I can assure you... you're not in love with this guy. Enjoy finding THE ONE!
Message
anu po ang gagawin ko if may gusto ako sa isang tao pero ayaw sa akin..tapos ang gusto nung taong yun eh bestfriend ko pa..??magpaparaya na lang po ba ako?? :( help naman oh..
Ask Lola says:
If that guy is not interested with you, then he is not. You're better off with someone who will like you for you :) It's not like you can ask him to like you instead of your bestfriend. There are a lot of fish in the ocean, and I can assure you... you're not in love with this guy. Enjoy finding THE ONE!
Milk or Chocolate?
Mikxx Lo
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Hi Aly.. I mean, Lola. :) See, there's this guy. Hmm. Let's call him Chocolate. Hahaha. Anyways, I like him. Gwapo siya and sporty. Into music din. Magkaiba kami ng school kaya minsan ko lang siya nakikita, pero we're friends. Mejo may pagkasweet din siya sakin. Pero, he likes someone else. Kaya ako, nasasaktan. There's also this guy. Let's call him.. uhm. Milk. Hahaha. He's cute, magaling magguitar, crush ng bayan, sweet, sincere, and napapasaya niya ko kapag sad ako. And take note, he likes me. Pero di ko siya magawang magustuhan kasi si Chocolate nga gusto ko. Crush ko lang siya kasi nga super galing niya maggitara at ang ganda ng boses niya. Sabi nga ng mga friends ko, si Milk na lang raw e. Gustuhin ko mang sundin ang sinasabi nila, di ko naman magawang alisin si Chocolate sa isip ko. Kaya ayun. What should I do?
Ask Lola says:
If you do pick, "Milk," what are you gonna' do? March up to him and tell him you "kinda" like him?
It doesn't roll that way. Wait and see if you "liking" him deepens. If it does, go for it. If it doesn't, drop it before he thinks he has a chance: or else you'll break his heart. It's better going for someone when you're committed than you going for someone unsure.
Message
Hi Aly.. I mean, Lola. :) See, there's this guy. Hmm. Let's call him Chocolate. Hahaha. Anyways, I like him. Gwapo siya and sporty. Into music din. Magkaiba kami ng school kaya minsan ko lang siya nakikita, pero we're friends. Mejo may pagkasweet din siya sakin. Pero, he likes someone else. Kaya ako, nasasaktan. There's also this guy. Let's call him.. uhm. Milk. Hahaha. He's cute, magaling magguitar, crush ng bayan, sweet, sincere, and napapasaya niya ko kapag sad ako. And take note, he likes me. Pero di ko siya magawang magustuhan kasi si Chocolate nga gusto ko. Crush ko lang siya kasi nga super galing niya maggitara at ang ganda ng boses niya. Sabi nga ng mga friends ko, si Milk na lang raw e. Gustuhin ko mang sundin ang sinasabi nila, di ko naman magawang alisin si Chocolate sa isip ko. Kaya ayun. What should I do?
Ask Lola says:
If you do pick, "Milk," what are you gonna' do? March up to him and tell him you "kinda" like him?
It doesn't roll that way. Wait and see if you "liking" him deepens. If it does, go for it. If it doesn't, drop it before he thinks he has a chance: or else you'll break his heart. It's better going for someone when you're committed than you going for someone unsure.
Condescending Classmate
skieeLX'11 Maclean
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i'm a transfer student from my school..i'm already fourth year now.hmmm. my problem is i have a classmate na lahat nlang ng ginagawa ko ehh..may comment cya and the worst is puro negative and i admit wla talaga ako masyadong talent pero i'm trying my best para wla silang masabi sakin pero feeling ko mainit lng tlga dugo niya sakin...ayoko po tlaga cyang patulan..ano po ba ang pwede kung gawin para tumigil sya??before i would hate too..:)) tnx po..
Ask Lola says:
Tell your classmate to cool it because he or she isn't any better.
KIDDING.
Well if you hate it that much, you have to say something or else your classmate will not stop. If you lose him/her as a friend, then it's one less person who put you down. Not your lost ;) Keep doing what you're doing right, and strive to be the best. Don't let any person bring you down.
Message
i'm a transfer student from my school..i'm already fourth year now.hmmm. my problem is i have a classmate na lahat nlang ng ginagawa ko ehh..may comment cya and the worst is puro negative and i admit wla talaga ako masyadong talent pero i'm trying my best para wla silang masabi sakin pero feeling ko mainit lng tlga dugo niya sakin...ayoko po tlaga cyang patulan..ano po ba ang pwede kung gawin para tumigil sya??before i would hate too..:)) tnx po..
Ask Lola says:
Tell your classmate to cool it because he or she isn't any better.
KIDDING.
Well if you hate it that much, you have to say something or else your classmate will not stop. If you lose him/her as a friend, then it's one less person who put you down. Not your lost ;) Keep doing what you're doing right, and strive to be the best. Don't let any person bring you down.
Random
_mhaLditao13_ mhira
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..hi!...
Ask Lola says:
Why hello to you too!
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..hi!...
Ask Lola says:
Why hello to you too!
Parents Disapprove
Z.E.
Message
My boyfriend and I broke up, because his parents didn't agree with the relationship we had, but we still love each other, both of us are trying to be fine, without each other, but we can still feel the love for each other...do you think there's still a chance for us to be together? and if not I think I'll be needing your advice to forget about him thanks in advance ^^
Ask Lola says:
I cant tell you if you both will be together in the future. All I know is that, both of you are still young and will have a lot of growing up to do.
But up until then, it takes a lot of maturity to pack up some courage to reason out with his parents. If you win the battle, then you guys will win them. If you don't, then it's up to him if he wants to be up against that. Otherwise, just be happy right now to have him around. Don't close your window for opportunities. It won't hurt to have your friends around. They're very soothing!
Message
My boyfriend and I broke up, because his parents didn't agree with the relationship we had, but we still love each other, both of us are trying to be fine, without each other, but we can still feel the love for each other...do you think there's still a chance for us to be together? and if not I think I'll be needing your advice to forget about him thanks in advance ^^
Ask Lola says:
I cant tell you if you both will be together in the future. All I know is that, both of you are still young and will have a lot of growing up to do.
But up until then, it takes a lot of maturity to pack up some courage to reason out with his parents. If you win the battle, then you guys will win them. If you don't, then it's up to him if he wants to be up against that. Otherwise, just be happy right now to have him around. Don't close your window for opportunities. It won't hurt to have your friends around. They're very soothing!
Who to Choose?
C.R.
Message
may dalawa kasi akong nagugustuhan, ang dating kong classmate na kaibigan q at ang bgo kong kaibigan. may gusto sila sakin(haba ng hair ko no?) ung bago kong kaibigan na gusto q , sia ung parang ideal man q, ung isa nmn kaVibes q tlga. i fell inlove for my ex-classmate hndi na nagun a, Fell nga eh. hahaha! gusto q pa rin siya at nakilala ko nmn si New Friend q. nagustuhan q na siya den kaboom! CRUSH ko na . ganito yan e, kya hndi q na mnhal ung ex-classmate q (lemme call him MARLON) dhil sa may gf siya nun, feeling q kya sila nagbreak dhil sakin. OO, kse gusto niya na kse aq nun. ung ex niya, classmate nmn nito ni NEW FRIEND(lemme call him CDominic) at ngng crush nmn ito ng ex niya. so, nung nakilala nmn ako ni cDominic, nagustuhan aq at love na aq. Maygahd. ayoko nito e, mhirap as in ung kalagayan q. i dont know kun sino ppliin q. nanliligaw na ngaun si CDominic at si Marlon nmn eh, gnun pa rin ung turingan nmn sa isat isa. ayw niya pa rin kse aminin sakin e. kainis. maghhntay pa ba aq? eh may naghhntay din sakin, hays. help me! isa pa feeling q ambad q kse ung ex ni Marlon eh palagi aq ang karibal(hate that term) nkakainis, hndi ko nmn sinsadya eh. tulong po. advice please! ang hrap pa ngaun kse classmate ko na ung ex ni marlon, hndi ap kme nagppansinan. bka naiilang siya skin or something.
Ask Lola says:
I can't tell you who to choose: only you know how you really feel.
Let's put it this way: if both of them are drowning (not to be mean and killing off one but you have to save one), who would you go for?
Think about it, and then when you finally thought of an answer, think about it some more.
You're not even sure about how you feel, so don't jump in any commitments. You'll end up hurting them both, and yourself.
Message
may dalawa kasi akong nagugustuhan, ang dating kong classmate na kaibigan q at ang bgo kong kaibigan. may gusto sila sakin(haba ng hair ko no?) ung bago kong kaibigan na gusto q , sia ung parang ideal man q, ung isa nmn kaVibes q tlga. i fell inlove for my ex-classmate hndi na nagun a, Fell nga eh. hahaha! gusto q pa rin siya at nakilala ko nmn si New Friend q. nagustuhan q na siya den kaboom! CRUSH ko na . ganito yan e, kya hndi q na mnhal ung ex-classmate q (lemme call him MARLON) dhil sa may gf siya nun, feeling q kya sila nagbreak dhil sakin. OO, kse gusto niya na kse aq nun. ung ex niya, classmate nmn nito ni NEW FRIEND(lemme call him CDominic) at ngng crush nmn ito ng ex niya. so, nung nakilala nmn ako ni cDominic, nagustuhan aq at love na aq. Maygahd. ayoko nito e, mhirap as in ung kalagayan q. i dont know kun sino ppliin q. nanliligaw na ngaun si CDominic at si Marlon nmn eh, gnun pa rin ung turingan nmn sa isat isa. ayw niya pa rin kse aminin sakin e. kainis. maghhntay pa ba aq? eh may naghhntay din sakin, hays. help me! isa pa feeling q ambad q kse ung ex ni Marlon eh palagi aq ang karibal(hate that term) nkakainis, hndi ko nmn sinsadya eh. tulong po. advice please! ang hrap pa ngaun kse classmate ko na ung ex ni marlon, hndi ap kme nagppansinan. bka naiilang siya skin or something.
Ask Lola says:
I can't tell you who to choose: only you know how you really feel.
Let's put it this way: if both of them are drowning (not to be mean and killing off one but you have to save one), who would you go for?
Think about it, and then when you finally thought of an answer, think about it some more.
You're not even sure about how you feel, so don't jump in any commitments. You'll end up hurting them both, and yourself.